Ever had your doctor ask you if you have a birth plan? Well, when I was asked, my response was “No, just get the baby out safely.” My doctor sighed a HUGE sigh of relief and said, “Thank GOD.” Of course, I gave him a puzzled look and he followed with “every mom I’ve had come in here with a birth plan was terribly disappointed, so, naturally I’m relieved you don’t have one.” So, I guess I made the right decision not to have a birth plan, until it came time to deliver my baby…
You’ve all seen plenty of movies where women give birth. Some of you have even seen labor videos to help prepare you for what to expect. Let me tell you, no matter how many videos I have watched or research I had done, NOTHING prepared me for that day.
Tell me why no one even tells you that when you’re not at risk of any complications and are delivering vaginally, you only have ONE nurse coaching you through the process and that your doctor doesn’t actually show up until the very end when your baby is crowning?! That would have been very valuable information to know from my doctor before I was stuck in the room pushing, with my mother who is not the best coach, while the nurse stepped out to help a patient in pain.
Luckily, I was able to deliver my son within an hour and the rest is history…until I realized I had to parent him, but let’s leave that for a separate post :).
Thinking back, I should have had some sort of a birth plan to avoid all of the anxiety I felt as a first-time mom, by leaving the care to the medical personnel who I left in charge of every decision of my care. However, there are some things to look out for when creating a birth plan.
5 THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR WHEN MAKING A BIRTH PLAN
Don’t be too rigid with your birth plan.
Allow some leniency in your plan in case things don’t go your way. Having a plan is a best course of action to prepare yourself for any endeavor, but giving birth is an entirely different animal…ANYTHING can happen.
If your birth plan is that you will not accept an epidural under any circumstance but your baby’s heart rate spikes because of the stress you have from the pain (something that happened to me even though I did not have a “birth plan”), considering allowing medical intervention to help keep your baby safe from harm, as well as yourself. The main goal should be to keep baby and mommy safe.
Don’t pressure yourself to make one if you’re unsure.
Some mommas-to-be have complete trust in their doctors and don’t feel the need to have a birth plan because they feel their doctors are on the same page as them when it comes to the delivery of their baby. If you’re one of those mommas, don’t feel pressured to make a birth plan. Allowing your doctor to make a majority of the decisions is okay too.
Don’t be afraid to change your birth plan.
Sometimes what you thought would be best at the beginning of the pregnancy may change as your pregnancy progresses and you obtain more information about labor and delivery. It is absolutely ok to tell your doctor that your views have changed and that you would like to change your birth plan. After all, this day will be all about you and your precious little baby.
Don’t allow anyone to influence you about making a birth plan.
As I stated before, a birth plan is not for every mommy-to-be and it might not be the right decision for you. Having family members and friends give their input about what you should and shouldn’t do can be very stressful and difficult to deal with, but you have to remember that delivery day is all about you and your baby.
After all, you’re the one who has been carrying this baby in your belly and only you know what’s best for you and your precious gift. You can take the information you receive from your family and friends with a grain of salt and make your final decision based on your own intuition. As the saying goes, nothing is stronger than a mother’s intuition.
Be prepared for the unexpected.
Sometimes everything may seem to be going smoothly in your pregnancy and one bad test can change the entirety of your birth plan. One of my dear friends had a horrific birth experience that I will not go into. She had a birth plan in place the entire time of her pregnancy. Because her pregnancy resulted from In vitro fertilization (IVF), she had had years of planning for the birth of her child before actually becoming pregnant. Well, things took a turn for her during her pregnancy when her blood pressure began to rise as she moved into her third trimester.
Unfortunately, she had to throw out her original plan of having a vaginal birth, after many unsuccessful induction attempts, and take the advice of her doctor to have a C-section. Apart from everything else that went wrong with her birthing experience, her baby was safe, and she was eventually brought back to health. The point is, labor is extremely unpredictable and sometimes nothing in your birth plan goes as planned and an entirely new plan needs to be created in order to keep you and your baby safe and to have a safe delivery.
The key point to focus on when developing a birth plan is keeping yourself and your baby safe and healthy regardless of what steps need to be taken to achieve this.
With all this being said, a birth plan is the best way to prepare yourself for the birth of your pride and joy. Bringing a child into this world is one of the most beautiful things a woman can do, and it is the biggest blessing. Having a plan doesn’t hurt, but stubbornly sticking to that plan can.
Finally, be mindful of all of the possibilities and enjoy the process. What comes after is a whole different animal to tackle. Good luck mommas!